A lot of my work is with words, talking and listening, but I pay as much attention to silence. A sudden in-breath, a twitch of anger, a look of sorrow at a memory all point to something.

Uncovering ‘the rules’

Discovering the source of a problem is tricky, because the issues are hidden in our subconscious. Often, we carry a rule book that is so familiar, we assume it must be true. However, it may not be possible always to follow those rules (don’t cry, don’t shout, hurry up) and so we are caught between who we are, and who we think we should be.

The ring of truth

It’s delicate work to uncover what somebody was not aware of, for perhaps a very long time. I sift what is said, listening for clues, watching for a glint of something that has a different weight. Sometimes I offer my guess, using my intuition to say what they cannot. I stress that this is an offer, and it’s the client who decides what is right. We may explore it together, but only they can say if it 'fits'. 

And the speaker has to be ready. It’s no good me saying “Bingo!” and telling them: he or she must feel it for themselves and listen for the ring of truth.

Patience to discover

To bring the truth into awareness takes patience. It’s like tuning a frequency or pulling one thread from a skein that’s got tangled: if you tug too hard, the knots get tighter and harder to undo.

I often think of this poem by the American poet William Stafford. The poet Naomi Shihab Nye was his student and wrote of him: “No one gave more courage to a journey with words, and silence, and an awakened life.”                                                                                            
For Stafford, writing was a means of discovery, “I feel, he said, very exploratory when I write”. This poem, written 26 days before he died, captures what it is to follow an intuition.

The Way It Is
There’s a thread you follow. It goes among
things that change. But it doesn’t change.
People wonder about what you are pursuing.
You have to explain about the thread.
But it is hard for others to see.
While you hold it you can’t get lost.
Tragedies happen; people get hurt
or die; and you suffer and get old.
Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding.
You don’t ever let go of the thread.

If you have a thread or a rule you’d like to explore, please get in touch @kavacounselling